Deluxe Instant Ramen

During my last post I found a website with an article about hacking instant ramen into a real complete meal. Let's face it. Noodles and chicken flavoured broth may be fine for a teenager or a starving student, but it ain't enough to feed a real man. A real man needs protein. That brain muscle won't develop itself. So I had to take it up a notch.

I was checking out Youtube for other ideas on how to hack instant ramen and I came across a nice old dad who was demonstrating how to make one if his son's favourite meals: instant ramen egg drop soup. That gave me an idea. I know that in some ramen recipes they put vegetables like peas, beans, mushrooms or corn. Topping the soup with green onions and sesame seeds is also very common. So I put together an idea of a Japanese-style ramen egg-drop soup recipe in my head which will contain the protein and vegetables I need.

At home I had eggs and sesame seeds and of course packs of Sapporo Ichiban instant ramen (the best one in my honest opinion), but I needed other ingredients. Off to the supermarket I went and I bought some scallions, a pack of sliced mushrooms and a can of whole kernel corn for under 5$ and this will last me for many a ramen meal.

I ended up not using the powdered ginger after all.

But, I'm sure it would've tasted good.

Here are the proportions to make a single soup meal:

Ingredients:

• 1-2 tablespoons of whole kernel corn.
• 1 stick of scallions, chopped in little scallion rings.
• A handful of sliced mushrooms
• 2 eggs
• 1 pack of instant ramen with flavouring
• a dash of sesame seeds

Preparation:

The first thing you want to do is rinse and chop your scallions like so:

Tada!

Set them aside for later as a topping.

Fill a pot with 2 cups of water. 2 cups is the magic amount for cooking a pack of instant ramen. And set the heat to high.

While you wait for it to start boiling, break 2 eggs into a bowl (don't beat them, the ramen gods do not tolerate violence), open up your pack of ramen, your pack of sliced mushrooms and your can of corn. Drain the corn if there's a lot of water. You will need to add the ingredients quickly while the ramen is cooking.

When the water starts to boil, set the timer to 3 minutes. 3 minutes is the magic timer number. Add your ramen noodles and start the time. After a minute stir the noodles to break them apart and mix them up.

When the noodles are broken apart, add the flavoured powder and mix.

So far it's pretty easy, eh? Here's the fun part. Just EXACTLY when you have one minute left, just gently drop in the eggs into the soup. One yolk on one side of the pot and the second on the other.

Then add a couple of tablespoons of corn, a handful of mushrooms and mix really gently so as to mot pop the yolk as much as possible.

When the timer ends, turn off the heat. Take a big enough bowl and pour the soup in. Then sprinkle some sesame seeds and top with the scallions. Your delux ramen dinner is now ready! Enjoy!

Would you look at that?

Who would've thought it would look so god damn beautiful!

It doesn't even look like an instant soup!

I could've fooled myself!

Aaaaahhh! Man, that was delicious!

That was so good! And so filling! I don't think I'll ever make instant ramen the same way ever again! Next time, I think I'll do it with some pork chops just for the hell of it!

EDIT:
Just as a reference, I found this blog called The Ramen Rater. They apparently have been rating instant ramen for over ten years! They are also chock full of instant ramen recipes for adding vegetables and proteins to instant ramen and make them amazing. Check them out!

The lazy geek's dinner.

Ok, so I was lazy this week. I spent the whole weekend procrastinating to clean up my apartment and I finally did it late Sunday night. But, I cleaned up my place real good. I still have to mop the floors though. Wait a sec. What is this? A house cleaning blog?

Ok, so last week I made myself some more of my funky fresh Asian fried chicken wrap, but I still had a few pieces left and I had to eat them before they went bad. I didn't make anything else because I really didn't have time to cook. So, I just bought deli meats to make sandwiches for my lunches to get a break because I have too much going on. For some reason everybody wanted to see me at the same time. And it all happened in the one weekend. I wish I had time alone for cleaning the place and laundry and play video games.

Anyway, tonight I was hungry. I finished work late and I didn't have anything prepared except for the few pieces of chicken I had. So, I decided to geek the fuck out and indulge myself into the ultimate meal of champions: Instant. Fucking. Ramen. Oh, and watch some anime with that too! Yeah, that's right. Because, I'm not always lazy, but when I am, I make instant ready made shit and watch cartoons. I'm an adult now! I can do whatever the hell I want!

Also, the famous (or infamous depending on who you are) website The Oatmeal recently created this article about hot Sriracha sauce, otherwise referred to as the "hot cock" sauce. (I totally bought those boxers btw!!!) If you've ever been to any Asian restaurant, you know what I'm talking about. That tall clear plastic bottle filled with red hot sauce and a green squeeze cap at the tip that's so tiny you can make precise drawings on your food when you pour it! That is if you're man enough to pour that much on your food to draw anything at all.

Sriracha Hot Cock Sauce!

I don't know why but it just woke something in me and I suddenly had to HUGE hankering for Sriracha sauce! And also Pho soup, because that's what I prefer to have it with anyway. So I ran to the nearest grocery store and got myself a bottle and then ran home to do this and finally quell my craving. By the way, how addicted are you to Sriracha sauce?

After running around with my groceries, it was time for me to fix myself dinner. Leftover Asian chicken tenders accompanied by spicy chilli instant ramen and of course, the Sauce. All of which were accompanied with a side of tasty anime as the final geek touch. Tonight's cartoon: Trigun episode 16 - where Vash the Stampede blows a crater in one of the planet's moons with his weird mutant gun-arm. (Pffft! That pussy ain't got nothing on super saiyan Goku whose power level well exceeds nine thousand.)

No, the chicken is not burnt! It's LIGHTLY ROASTED DAMMIT!

Sapporo Ichiban make the best instant ramen in my opinion. Their flavourings are the absolute best. I don't know what they put in there (nobody knows anyway) but they're really delicious. They just don't come with any dried up vegetables, but they assume you will add your own to the soup. (Yeah right, vegetables are for suckers.) The chicken fingers with the hot sauce was perfect. It was a good quick meal and that gave me time to chill and go out and walk, as always.

So, my apologies if there are no recipes this week. But, if you want to know, here's hot to make instant ramen:

1. Bring 2 cups of water to a boil.
2. Add dried noodles and cook for 2 minutes.
3. Add the powdered flavour packet (and dried vegetables if any) and mix well.
4. Cook for an additional minute until noodles are soft.
5. Eat!

Or you can go all out crazy deluxe gourmet and check out this blog post on SeriousEats.com on how to HACK ramen! One of which involves a Sriracha-based sauce! I just found that thing while writing this and I am so excited!

OH HELL NO! 

THEY EVEN GOT RAMEN POUTINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111111111oneoneoneoneoneoneone

Shredded cheese?!?!? AW HELL NO! THAT'S BLASPHEMY!

CURD CHEESE 4 LYFE!

The Cheater's Spaghetti Sauce

Ok, so I'm a lazy bastard. Sometimes I just want a good plate of pasta without busting my ass over the stove. Is that so bad? So this is not a home made spaghetti sauce recipe from scratch. Sorry to disappoint you if that's what you were hoping for. Still, this recipe makes a pretty bad ass spaghetti sauce.

So the way I make it is I basically buy a jar of Classico, add tomatoes, tomato juice, vegetables, herbs and spices and a crap load of meat.

Here's what I got for ingredients:

• 1 jar of Tomato Basil Classico spaghetti sauce.
• 1 green pepper
• 1 pack of mushrooms (preferably sliced)
• 1 carrot
• 1 small onion
• 1 clove of garlic
• 1 can 540ml of diced tomatoes (I had a couple of leftover tomatoes handy too)
• 1 small shot can of V8
• 1 stick of cinnamon
• 1 lb of lean ground beef
• Italian herbs
• salt
• pepper
• olive oil

And here's how to make the sauce. One thing I learned from the many Italian cooks from the interwebs is that you should mince and soak your garlic in the olive oil before you do anything. So do that first.

• Pour some olive oil in a large pot enough to cover the bottom.
• Mince the clove of garlic and dump it in the pot with the oil to let it soak.
• Chop up your vegetables into small pieces.

• Start heating the pot on medium heat.
• Throw in the onions and cook then until they are transparent.

I slightly toasted (burned) my garlic by accident. It still tasted good god damnit!

• Add the ground beef and cook until browned.

• Once the meat is cooked add the jar of Classico sauce and stir well.
• Add the can of tomatoes and all the other vegetables.

• Add the shot of V8.
• Throw in a stick of cinnamon.
• Add the Italian herbs
• Salt and pepper to taste.

Then let it all cook and stir occasionally until the carrots are tender. This recipe does 4-5 full servings so it should last you a week. You can also store it in small plastic containers and freeze it. Then, when you're not feeling like cooking you just take it out one day ahead and let it thaw in the refrigerator and you'll have a meal all ready, except for the pasta but, that's pretty damn easy to make. If you don't know how to cook pasta, leave me a comment and I will insult your intelligence in the best way possible.

Add some Parmesan and you're all set.

Well kiss mah grits!

Good mornin' y'all! Fer sum time now I've been explorin' southern dishes. First, with my wild craving for southern fried chickin' with all them tasty fixin's. And now, I've got a hankerin' fer some grits. Coming from the True North Strong And Free, I always wondered what the hell grits were. I've heard of 'em in such phrases as kiss mah grits! but that's about all I knew about 'em. One day, I had an Amerian friend who gave me a packet of plain Quaker instant grits. I tried them and thought it was kind of like cream of wheat, but salty and buttery. It was tasty though. The problem was that I wanted more and couldn't find any here as they are only sold in the States, and most probably just in southern states. So good luck finding some here in the wonderful land of poutine eating surrender monkeys.

Thanks to the great invention of the interwebz, we're now able to connect with the rest of the world. Thus, I was able to get my hands on a real recipe thanks to the Food Network's website. This gentleman named Alton Brown, is a celebrity chef and he put up his own recipe for home made cheese grits using corn meal. Thankfully I live in a melting pot of a city and I was able to find corn meal at an independent grocery store that sells other products than the No Name brand or President's Choice. I swear sometimes it feels like we're in Soviet Quebec from the lack of diversity in the grocery stores. You don't pick the food you want, food picks you! I also got a block of soft orange cheddar, but the recipe asked for strong cheddar. I didn't know how cheesy it would be so I picked a soft one, but afterwards I realized a strong cheddar would've been better.

Anyway, enough talkin', lets get cookin'. Making grits is very easy. And that's good when you wake up in the morning and you're half awake and hungry. Here's what you need:

Ingredients (serves 2):

• 1 cup milk
• 1 cup water
• 2 tbs unsalted butter (you can use margarine to make it less rich)
• 2 oz or 1 cup cheddar cheese (sharp cheddar preferably)
• 3/4 tsp salt
• 1/4 tsp ground pepper
• 1/2 cup cornmeal (white cornmeal is better, if you can find any)

Instructions:

1. Pour the milk and water into a pot, add the salt and bring to a boil over medium-high heat.
2. Whisking constantly, gradually add the cornmeal.
3. Mix well and then bring the heat down to low and cover.
4. Cook for around 15-20 minutes or until mixture is thick and creamy whisking every 1-2 minutes to make sure it doesn't stick to the bottom.
5. Once cooked, take off the heat.
6. Stir in the butter and the pepper.
7. Finally, gradually add the cheddar cheese while mixing until the cheese mixes completely with the grits.

The end result should be a big cheesy orange mush. The idea of eating cheese flavoured mush might not be appealing to some, and the picture may not look very appetizing, but trust me on this one. It's really good! But, very rich though. Using margarine would've been a good idea I think. And thank god I used the low fat cheddar with the amount of butter you have to put in there. Some other improvements I think would have been to use no salt, but I would certainly have added bacon to this instead. There's also another recipe out there where they add jalapeno peppers! I bet that's super tasty. Most recipes though will suggest using half strong cheddar and half some other more creamy cheese to get the right texture and flavour.

A Canadian sugar shack version of this could include brown sugar instead of salt and pepper and maple syrup instead of cheese. With the bacon of course. Hmm... Maybe I'll try that next time!

Bon apétit!

I don't know what I'm doing beans and rice.

Oh man. Tonight I had no idea what the fuck I was doing. I had leftover baby spinach leaves from last week's salad recipe with a little bit of bell peppers and half a large red onion. I also looked in my pantry and saw all the bags of dried beans I've had for so long and never got around to cook them. So I thought "Hey! Beans + vegetables + rice = black beans n rice!"

I quickly looked up an easy black beans n rice recipe on AllRecipes.com and found Jamie's Black Beans and Rice. It looked easy enough. Cook some rice. Fry some veggies in oil in a pan and add sauce then serve over the rice. Lets do this.

I got the missing ingredients to complete the recipe, except for the enchilada sauce specified in the recipe. I couldn't find any at the grocery store. (Canada eh!) Instead I got an Old El Paso fajita flavouring pouch and a can of tomato sauce. I was hesitating on getting the jar of restaurant style salsa instead.

When I got home I took the bag of black beans an suddenly realized they were fava beans. Womp womp... Meh, I thought I could just boil them and it would be fine right? WRONG! Those motherfuckers take THREE HOURS TO COOK! And that's only after YOU SOAK THEM OVER NIGHT! God dammit. After chopping up all the vegetables, cooking the rice and getting ready to start stir-frying the veggies and the beans, I had to run out last minute to get a can of black beans. It was 10:30pm and I knew the grocery store was closing at 11, so I had to haul ass and hustle before they closed otherwise I'd end up with a recipe for "rice".

I race down there, grab the damn beans, and head back home again. Now let's get cookin'.

Ingredients

• 1 1/2 cup of Uncle Ben's converted white rice. (Converted white rice doesn't stick together)
• 1 19oz can of black beans.
• 1  regular sized (15oz-ish) can of tomato sauce. (Preferably use the enchilada sauce)
• 1/2 a red onion.
• 1 yellow bell pepepr.
• 1 big handful of baby spinach. (From one of those pre-washed boxes at the grocery store)
• 1-2 tbs of chilli powder.
• 1 tbs of salt.
• 1 tbs of Mrs Dash Extra Spicy seasoning.
• 1 tsp of sugar. (Preferably brown sugar, this is to reduce the acidity of the tomato sauce.)
• 1 sachet of Old El Paso fajita mix.
• 2 tbs olive oil.

The cooking

1. Cook the rice according to the directions on the box. Fill a pot with water and a pinch of salt and boil the rice until it's cooked. Then strain and put aside.
2. Heat the pan to medium heat and pour the 2 tbs of oil in the pan.
3. When the oil is hot, add the chopped onions and fry them until they become transparent.
4. Add the diced peppers and cook until tender.
5. Strain the beans from the liquid in the can and add them to the pan with the rest.
6. Empty the sachet of fajita mix over the vegetables and stir. Cook for a couple of minutes.
7. Pour the can of tomato sauce or enchilada over the vegetables in the pan and stir.
8. Add the chilli powder, salt, Mrs Dash seasoning and sugar and stir to mix well.
9. Add the baby spinach and mix them in until they get all soft and mixed in with the sauce.

Using tomato sauce as a replacement for the enchilada sauce wasn't the best thing to use, but definitely worked in the end thanks to the extra spices. I suggest you add them to taste so as to get right amount for yourself. 

Additionally, adding about a teaspoon of pure cocoa in there would definitely give it a little extra something that would go well with the mix.

This was a frankenstein recipe from the rest of vegetables I had from last week's salad that I made and I am really glad it turned out so well. It tasted even better when it was reheated. It's all vegetarian too! If you want the extra protein, I guess you could add like a pound of ground chicken in there or something. I didn't want to use any. I felt like I had been eating a lot of meat lately and wanted to give my digestive system a break. Also, the small amount of groceries I had to buy made me save money and I was able to feed myself for 4 days! Isn't that fan-fucking-tastic?

Enjoy!

The "F-U! Subway!" Salad.

This week I went to the Subway sandwich shop close to my office for lunch. I decided to order a tuna salad because I didn't want to fill up on bread and feel sleepy the rest of the afternoon. And tuna is pretty much the best meat option they have for a salad. Plus, I felt like having tuna. But, the guy who made my salad didn't know how to make one. He was so lost. First of all he put about the same amount of veggies you would put in a sandwich. So I barely had any lettuce. For the rest of the vegetables I had to ask him to cut them up because otherwise the big slices of tomato and cucumber don't mix in the salad and they're not bite size. Plus, he barely put any tuna! Come on, man! It's the same price as a full 12 inch sandwich! At least give me just as much tuna! Finally, the cherry on top is when I ask for some oil as the dressing. They only had the Subway special which is oil and oregano. He turned my salad into a fucking soup! Way to fuck up an easy meal, dickbag! I bet you're going to be fine when you go live by yourself during college, if you even ever get there. Heck, I think the vegetables in my salad had a higher IQ than the guy making itNeedless to say, I was unhappy and left quite dissatisfied. So I thought "if no one can do it right, do it yourself! And I did. And that's why this recipe is called the Fuck-You, Subway! salad.

I decided to make mine out of baby spinach, veggies and fish. (Tuna, Salmon, Mackerel, etc) Simply because I find that spinach has more flavour than regular lettuce and it has lots of iron and other very good stuff. In terms of dressing, I chose to use olive oil, balsamic vinegar and some maple syrup for a sweet twist. So here goes:

Ingredients (serves 4-6)

• Box of clean, ready to eat baby spinach.
• 2 orange bell peppers.
• 1 small red onion.
• 4-6 small cucumber.
• 1 can/jar sliced black olives.
• 1 small box of cherry tomatoes.
• Italian herbs mix.
• olive oil.
• balsamic vinegar
• maple syrup
• Can of tuna/salmon/whatever fish in a can.

Instructions:

The obvious:

Slice the red onion in rings and slice those in half.

Slice the bell peppers in bite-size strips.

Slice your cucumbers.

The dressing:

In a small bowl, mix 2/3 olive oil, 1/3 balsamic vinegar, add maple syrup until a tiny bit sweet.

Toss a handful or two of spinach in a bowl, add a handful of peppers, onions, olives, a few cherry tomatoes, sprinkle some Italian herbs. Then flake the fish and add it and cover with the dressing.

Optionally you can add some shredded cheese, which would have been nice had I thought of buying some. (d'oh!)

All in all, it makes a colourful great tasting salad and it gave me the opportunity to raise my middle finger at Subway for sucking so bad at making salads.

Refreshing Chicken Finger Wrap

I've been super lazy when it comes to cooking lately. The pas couple of weeks were kinda bad. I was having a bit of an emotional fit and I had no appetite. But, after having that tasty fried chicken at Fatboys Southern Smokehouse in Ottawa on Canada day I felt like that food brought my soul back in me.

Last week, was hot. Very hot, and humid. So I decided to make something that would be tasty and refreshing. I remembered making some really good breaded chicken fingers for a penne arabiata dish I did a few months ago. I decided to add something to give it some zing and use those chicken fingers to make a delicious Asian wrap.

Yo! He's got the funky fresh style with the tasty lyrics.

Jin's rap and my sandwich have a lot in common.

I found the original recipe for the penne arabiata on my favourite website, Allrecipes.com. You can fin the whole recipe here. But, I just used the part for the breaded chicken fingers and changed it up a bit. Instead of putting garlic powder, I used powdered ginger. The rest is pretty much the same. Here are the ingredients for the chicken:

• 2 eggs
• 2 cups of regular breadcrumbs
• 4 tsp powdered ginger
• 1 tsp Chinese 5 spices
• 1 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp garlic powder
• ~1 cup of grapeseed oil or more for frying

And for the sandwich:

• 1 pack of green spinach fajita wraps
• 1 cucumber
• 1 orange bell pepper
• 1 head of boston lettuce
• 1 bag of thick chow mein noodles
• 1 bottle of Kraft™ Asian Sesame dressing.

Here's how you prepare the chicken. It's pretty simple.

1. In a small bowl, whip the 2 eggs together.
2. In a larger bowl, mix the breadcrumbs, powdered ginger, salt and garlic powder and mix well.
3. Cut the chicken into long strips
4. In a deep dish pan, pour the oil and put on medium heat and wait for the oil to heat up.
5. Dip the chicken strips in the eggs and roll in the bread crumbs mix.
6. Fry the breaded chicken strips in the pan until golden brown on each side.
7. IMPORTANT: Make sure the chicken is well cooked and the meat is white, no pink!

Once your chicken is all nice and fried, let it rest on some paper towels to absorb the excess oil. In the meantime, cut up your vegetables for your sandwich.

When the chicken has cooled down, you can make yourself a delicious wrap. Take a fajita wrap, put a leaf of boston lettuce, 3-4 strips of orange peppers, a few strips of cucumbers, a hand full of chow mein noodles, 2 strips of chicken and drizzle with the Asian sesame dressing. Roll up and enjoy!

MMmmmm!!!!!

This wrap is refreshingly delicious in the summer thanks to the peppers and the cucumber. I hope you like it!